In a nut shell, this chapter centers upon intrinsic motivation. Layeh calls this the "The holy grail of parenting." I would add to that it is the holy grail in teaching also.
Lahey points out to many different students and examples of how bribing students to change their behavior has negative outcomes. No matter what the case or circumstance. In fact, when it comes to paying your son or daughter for completing their homework, Layeh emphatically states, "..if you want your child to stop doing his homework, pay him got good grades."
Why? Lahey states that rewards are perceived as being attempts to control behavior. And, nobody likes to be controlled, especially teenagers.
But, when students have goals, the reverse it true. But, setting goals MUST be taught. When I coached soccer at the high school level, we spent two days in the classroom writing goals. Yes, these were days we did not practice, but spent refining the art of writing goals.
There is so much more to setting goals which Layeh doesn't cover in chapter two, but it must be pointed out achievable, realistic, and measurable goals must be established by the students.
This leads to a changing mind set and how important HOW we give praise is SO important. We want to praise things like hard work, and not being smart. Layeh states "Praise them for their resilience and the effort they make to recover from their mistakes."
What do you think? Any ideas? Looking forward to your ideas...
And, there is more to come in Chapter Three.
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