Thougths from "The Gift of Failure"- Chapter 1

I am very excited about reading The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey.  Why? Because it challenges how I teach and how I parent.  Also, some of the ideas in the book reinforces some of those ideas I already have about teaching and parenting...

IDEAS THAT CHALLENGE ME:

In Chapter One Lahey builds the ground work for understanding where American parents may have gotten it wrong in their understanding of child rearing.  

But, before I explore some ideas that challenged me, some of Lahey's historical information was very interesting.  She cites John Locke and Thomas Paine as early pioneers in child rearing....Yes, the same men we associate with government philosophy and political hell raising. As a student and teacher of government I thought this was interesting.

MOVING ON:  One idea Lahey explored was popular in the 70s and 80s was known as "attachment parenting."  This parental philosophy believed "children should be in a sling 24/7", always near the parent.  Lahey explained this was the outgrowth of the need for a strong bond between the parent and the child.  Some feared the lack of bonding would create an unstable child, and thus an unstable adult.  These fears, as Lahey pointed out, were reinforced in news programs showing neglected children in over crowed, neglected Romanian orphanages form this time.  Also, guilt helped reinforce these notions, as more women entered the workforce and found less time to be with their children.

This idea did not challenged my ideas, for I knew of some parents who believed in this philosophy.  Instead this challenged the reality of my life as child.  Being that my mother was raising five children without a husband in the 70s.  In 1972, my father died in a car accident and my mother was thrown into the workforce after staying home many years raise us.  My mother, who never graduated from high school, worked many different types of jobs, during all times of the day or night.  So, she had no way she could keep up us in a "sling."  

This being the case, might this explain why I am so different from my peers and my outlook upon life...

THE "NO DUH" IDEAS:

There were many in Chapter One.  So many, I will simply list them:

• American based their parental actions based upon what made them feel good, and not what was best for their child.  Need I say anything more about this?
• Parents trying to be a "friend" to their child.  Wait, I don't want a friend who is twenty years younger than me.  If I do, there is something wrong with me...
• The biggest "NO DUH" - "..parents who out a priority on saving kids from frustration and teachers who put a priority on challenging their students often butt heads, and consequently, the parent-teacher partnership had reached a breaking point." I have experience this so many times as a teacher.

This being said, I could see time when parents might need to step in.  Also, there might be personal "hang ups" a parent might have about certain things.  And, these "hang ups"might give parents justification to bail a child out.  Tell me what you think?

More posts are to come as I continued reading this very interesting book!

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